Longtime Resident To Gentrifiers: Can't We All Get Along?

A reader writes:

I live at the far end of Woodruff ave, across the street from Caledonian hospital (map)… I am 20 years old and i have lived in this neighborhood since I was 5. I would like to get to know the newer residents in the area but i feel as soon as many of them cross that huge dentist office on the corner of Parkside their demeanor's change. I have seen the changes from Lefferts to Parkside, they aren't very friendly. Also are there any neighborhood events or activities that would encourage people to meet or talk to others. I just want to be part of a community where I feel like people are making an effort. Am I the only one feeling this way?

This is a great question, and one that begs discussion, because, as you suggest, there are some significant cultural differences playing out in our neighborhood.

First, people coming in and out of the subway or walking along Flatbush are usually not in "meet and greet" mode. Whether we're new or old-timers in the neighborhood, we're New Yorkers and when we're trying to get some place, we don't make eye contact with people along the way.  Sorry, that's just how it is.

But onto the bigger question. Different blocks in and around PLG have different vibes, so I'm going to throw out a few personal observations that--as a relative newcomer myself (we've been here for four years)--may be relevant here.

My block of Hawthorne has a pretty Afro-Caribbean feel. When the weather is warm, people hang out outside, play music and dominoes, and grill. It can get pretty noisy at times, but that's part of the package. The upside is that it's easier to meet neighbors. I've met many people on my block simply by hanging out outside on our stoop.  As more affluent (and white) people move in, there's a tendency for blocks to get quieter and less outwardly friendly, in part, I think, because the newcomers are more likely to go out to bars and theaters or stay home and play on the computer, than to hang out on the block. This doesn't necessarily mean that they're less friendly (though, naturally, some of them may be); it means that they have different habits.

One thing I like about our block is that many of the newcomers have made a habit of hanging out outside as well. I don't know how to translate that to other blocks--particularly blocks like Woodruff that have more apartment buildings and less "common" space, like the stoops in front of brownstones--but it has definitely helped us integrate into our block.

How does an old-timer meet new-timers? I'm coming from the opposite side here, but I've met my neighbors by hanging out outside (maintaining a small garden in front of our place), participating in our block association, and taking my kid to the playground every chance I get. If we had a dog, I'd go to the dog run in Nethermead daily. Dog runs and playgrounds are great equalizers, and people are pretty chatty when they've got a small creature to focus on.

If you don't have a block or tenants association, think about starting one. If you're in a large apartment building, you could always start a googlegroup or blog for residents to discuss issues related to the building.  It doesn't have to be difficult. Starting an email list takes only a few minutes and you could promote it by placing flyers in your building.

Hopefully others will share their own ideas and comments.

Comments

[Seth]

I find people in our neighborhood very friendly, both recent and longtime residents, of all backgrounds and nationalities.

It's why I love PLG.

[Hal]

i also live on hawthorne. usually everyone is really nice, and she's right that people hang out on stoops and just chat. that's how you get to know your neighbors. it's nice. two new white people just moved into a house on my block a few months ago and they don't really seem interested in integrating into the neighborhood. i have said hello to them and gotten no response. it may be a class thing, it may be a white thing, who knows. but let people do what they want, i guess. so long as they're not causing trouble.

[Bob Marvin]

"How does an old-timer meet new-timers?"

I've met lots of "new-timers" through LMA, PLG Arts, my Block association (Midwood II) and just hanging around K-Dog.

But, I'm only a relative "old-timer"; I know lots of people who've lived here a lot longer than my 35 years :-)

[Matthew]

What a great post, one worthy of responses from anyone who has ideas to share. A few thoughts that come to mind to add to the good ideas above:

It certainly is true that there are a lot of people making an effort in PLG. And because of that there is plenty of opportunity to volunteer, get involved with neighborhood groups and meet some excellent people from all walks of life. So...

1. Get involved in the PLG Neighborhood Association, which is kicking into gear and working to improve the quality of life for all who live here (plgna.org). I've met many new people (old timers and newcomers) through PLGNA. There are quite a few committees to get involved in, and I know that PLGNA has some events coming up.

2. Speaking of events, it's good to monitor the Lefferts list, the PLGNA website, and the Hawthorne Street blog for upcoming events -- for example, the block parties should be starting up soon. Hopefully the block parties will be well publicized (through the above sources) and open to all.

3. Go to a free wine tasting / art show at 65 Fen, which is the neighborhood's new wine shop. Wine tends to make friendly PLG folks even more friendly and the place has a wonderful vibe.

4. Check out the events on the PLG Arts page: http://plgarts.org/home.htm

I am sure that there are other ideas that people can share. This is by no means the whole list.

After overdosing on all of these activities, you may want to have a night or two in front of the TV just to take a break!

[Tim Thomas]

in response to the write-inner:

Great questions. My wife and baby and I are here 7 years. We do our best to meet everyone on our block (Clarkson btw Flatbush & Bedford). We're starting a block association (Clarkson FlatBed!) and even started a blog (www.theQatParkside.blogspot.com). We love our neighborhood, and everyone we've met.We love it when people stop by our stoop to talk. It happens more now that the weather is nice.

Woodruff is cool, but a simple fact of life in the City is that when you're off your usual blocks you gotta keep your eyes open, you know? 98% of people are cool, but it's that 2%. Gang members, dope sellers, angry drunks, crackheads, litterbugs, people with nasty dogs! Just like anywhere else in NYC, unless you feel comfortable, it's best to play it safe. I think that's what's going on a lot of the time - fear, discomfort, not knowing if you're welcome or not. My suggestion to anyone who wants to get know their neighbors is to say "hi" first. You'd be surprised how easy it is to gauge whether someone is open to a smile and some chitchat. If they're not...their loss!

But I think we all could do better. Just cause we grew up different doesn't mean we can't be good neighbors. Hope to see you on Woodruff soon! Just look for the big goofy dad with the world's cutest one year-old.

tim

[sarah]

I'm a newcomer on St. Paul's at Woodruff! I've lived here since January; I was in Prospect Heights before. I love the neighborhood but haven't met anyone other than my housemates--I'm usually pretty shy and my street interactions tend to be more about smiles than anything else. I'm hoping that maybe in the summer there will be more people hanging out outside--I'd like to meet my neighbors!

[ND]

I am the one who sent this question to hawthorne,and I am pleasantly suprised by all of your responses! For one I didn't know it would be posted on the blog so thank you!I appreciate all of the suggestions,and it seems our experiences vary.Maybe I should try to be more proactive but I don't want to risk feeling awkward or embarrassed.The internet cafe seemed like a good place at first to meet people,but everyone seems to keep to themselves.Like mentioned,woodruff doesn't really have outside seating areas that would allow people to meet each other.Thanks again HS for starting this conversation.Maybe I will start a google group,but I just don't know if it will be enough and I can't do it by myself.What should be the first step in promoting area unity.Tim I will absolutely look for you and Sarah I am always open to meeting my neighborhors.Comment if you would like to exchange emails!

[Dynishal]

I LOVE this thread! ND, thanks for starting this conversation and Carrie & Charles, thanks for providing this great forum for it.

ND, I'd encourage you to have positive expectations for your interactions with your neighbors, whether they've been here for their whole lives, moved here recently or are just visiting. There are wonderful personalities lurking behind even the most sour or blank expressions. Make eye contact and smile. You'll be amazed at how many people smile back. Often that's all it takes to create an opportunity to speak, maybe that day or after a few silent, friendly encounters.

I fell in love with this neighborhood when I moved here in 2001. I hung out with local friends and got to know folks in my building but didn't get to know many folks in the broader community until the last couple of years. A couple of things led to the change -- 1) I got a dog and began to recognize faces from the dog community in the park around the neighborhood; 2) my partner and her extremely social children joined me in the neighborhood, leading to many interactions with parents, other school children and schools; 3) I had a couple of big "stoop sales" and chatted up the great people who bought my stuff and 4) I got involved in PLGNA. This led to our beginning a block association and a tenant association and me spending a shocking amount of time on neighborhood projects, like cleaning out the tree pits on our block. But today when I walk through the neighborhood, I feel like I live in a small town. Lots of people smile and say hey. I greet and am greeted, even sometimes by my challenging name. I know many of my neighbors' passions, struggles and successes. It's thrilling and has made me love the neighborhood even more.

ND, I realize that smiling at people on the street and striking up conversations with strangers is tough if you're shy. But PLGNA meetings are pretty low-key. The next one is Monday 5/17, 7 PM at Grace Reformed Church, corner of Lincoln Road and Flatbush. If you stop by, please introduce yourself. I'll be happy to meet another neighbor.

[Lee]

Sarah and ND, hello neighbors! I moved into my apt on Woodruff Ave (near the hospital) about a year ago. I can relate to what you are saying. I, too, would like to meet people who live in my building and on my street but I'm not sure how to go about it. I say hello to people I pass by in the lobby, but, as I'm not really outgoing, I just don't know what the next step would be. I think it would be great if our street had a block party. It would be nice to see who lives in all these apartment buildings on our block.

[Rick]

I'm applying to rent an apartment at Rutland and Flatbush, and have had a lot of anxiety about the gentrification issue. But I am heartened to read this thread and see there are a lot of people in this neighborhood who are into the "small community" thing, regardless of race. As far as NYers go, I think I'm more courageous when it comes to striking up conversations with strangers. So I look forward to hopefully moving there and establishing some ties to the community.

[zayra reyes]

I love woodruff avenue - I've been here almost 30 years sitting on my stoop and smiling. I've watched my neighbors come and go, their children grow and have watched every labor day festivity unfold...what a wonderful place to live.